Remember “Rollerball,” the 1975 movie starring James Caan in a not-too-distant future where contestants wearing roller skates try to get a steel ball into a tiny goal? The contestants would grab rails on the rear of motorcycles in order to gain speed around the track. Yes, motorcycles. Stinky, gas-burning, loud and sometimes, exploding, motorcycles.
Is there anything that could improve on that scenario (let’s not mention the lame 2002 remake of the movie)?
How about if James Caan and his teammates were relegated to the box seats and the rules were: No Men Allowed.
Call it Rollerball XX (not X-rated, of course, and not having anything to do with Roman numbers). “Rollerball XX” because it’s catchier than “Rollerball No XY Chromosomes Allowed.”
And what if they replaced the stinky exploding gas bikes with silent, powerful electric bikes. Wouldn’t that be about as epic an event as one could hope for? It’s got strong women, cool bikes, and roller skates. Close your eyes and try to imagine the pure electro-awesomeness of it all.
Having some issues getting your imagination working hard enough to visualize this? Perhaps some of the following images, sent my way by a lucky recipient of the new Icon Spring collection catalog might help:
Need some more? How about this one:
Before I go on, I have to give a tip o’ the hat to the oft ignored copywriter. From the top picture:
“Whatever the reason, the emotional payout rarely covered the painful reality. Towed up to speed by twin Brammos, they surged around the track with unkind intent. A strange medley of motor and muscle jostling for lead position. Most would never define these oval matches as glamorous. And therein lies the irony.”
You can’t find poetry like that scrawled on a bathroom wall, people.
And from the second photo:
“Plastic kneepads over fishnets. Ballistic nylon over cinched bustiers. The odd partnering of beauty and armor serving only to enhance the wheeled combat.”
To me, the words evoke the same feelings as “Half a league, half a league, half a league onward. All in the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. . . . ” Okay, on second thought, never mind. Sorry, Alfred.
So what is this all about? Customized Brammo Enertias with tow bars, pulling women around an indoor rink. Is it just an effort by a manufacturer of excellent and stylish motorcycle gear to sell some products?
Or is there something else going on? Is this the first glance at a new sport? Scenes from the pilot of a reality TV show?
Does Brammofan know how to stop asking questions and start giving answers?
Yes, he does. Stay tuned.
Slideshow of the Shoot: