“Brammos prevent simple conversation”

Alan, sitting on his new Brammo Enertia, NYC.

Alan Wilzig, our favorite rich dude who’s too cool to hate, just sent another one of his priceless emails that begs to be shared with us proletariat masses:

Subject: Brammos prevent simple conversation

Sure – when astride one, you can talk to anyone you like.

But sitting on a sidewalk bench in SOHO , trying to talk to your friend when the Brammo parked next to you is quite obviously yours, given the helmet and such on the bench ?

Impossible.

45 people photographed the bike in 100 minutes.

12 insisted on chatting about it.

60 made favorable comments and / or asked a confirmatory question.

If I had a hot dog cart with a DMV terminal and a credit card machine I could have sold 35 bikes this afternoon.

Whomever has the NYC franchise for these things has to be required / supplemented – to have 5 people ( half girls) riding them all day for $10/hr handing out cards until they have sold 100 and it’s no longer necessary.

I’ve told you similar anecdotes in the past – but today was just f@$%ing ridiculous !

I’ve also experienced the “Brammo Butt-in” – the name for the phenomenon of people interrupting your Enertia-nirvana in order to ask questions about your unique mode of transport.  One of my favorite things to do is to talk about it, so it’s always a welcome interruption to me.  But Alan’s numbers seem . . . problematic to me.

Because he’s like mishpocha to me, and because he made his money in the banking industry (supposedly due to his aptitude with numbers, not because his dear father – may he rest in peace – handed him a job on silver platter), I have to ask:

Alan, how, pray tell, can the NYC franchise have 5 people, half of whom are girls, riding the Enertias all day?  Two boys, two girls, I get, but does the 5th one have to be a hermaphrodite?  Or is this your way of telling the Ashland crew that the Enertia needs a wider and more forgiving seat?

And this helmet that sat next to you on the park bench in Soho for 100 minutes, was it the one you were wearing in this picture of you at Jerez?:

Alan, bubelah, we have to get a closer look at the helmet:

Yes, that helmet.  Was that the one on the bench?  Because if it was, it might explain at least some of the attention you were receiving that day.  It’s a conversation piece with a chinstrap.  Even when it’s sitting next to you on a bench and not smushing your face, it screams “look at me!”  That is the kind of helmet a guy like me could only dream of owning.  And just to prove my point, here’s a picture of my boring and DOT approved (circa 1990) helmet:

Oy.

But enough about me.  Let’s talk about some of Alan’s other exploits.

Alan and his lovely wife, Karin, will be appearing in a new reality television series called “Robinhood Rally“.  Their team, Team Wilzig, can be found on Facebook. Make sure to visit and “Like” them.  Alan’s a big Subaru fan –

and he loves driving his Ariel Atom, assembled a few years ago by a then-little-known-company in Ashland, Oregon known as Brammo Motorsports:

He’s also, quite obviously, a fan of the color orange.

One last thing –

Alan walks into his Rabbi’s office and says, “Rabbi.  I want to have a mezuzah for my Lamborghini.”

The Rabbi looks puzzled and says, “What’s a Lamborghini?”

Alan: It’s an Italian sports car.

Rabbi: I can’t condone that.  Go see a Rabbi over at the Conservative temple.

So Alan goes to the Conservative synagogue and asks the rabbi:

Alan: I want to have a mezuzah for my Lamborghini.

Rabbi 2: What’s a Lamborghini?

Alan: It’s an Italian sports car.

Rabbi 2: I can’t condone that.  Go see a Rabbi over at the Reform temple.

So Alan goes to the reform temple and asks the rabbi:

Alan: I want to have a mezuzah for my Lamborghini

Rabbi 3: What’s a mezuzah?

So, with that, I’ll leave the comments open for Mr. W to provide some answers about numbers, helmets, and when we get to see him on tv in our neck of the woods.

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  1. #1 by David Herron on September 16, 2010 - 2:34 pm

    Well, any EV owner knows that they are a magnet for interested onlookers. You quickly learn the 5 common questions from which an individual ask 3. Owning an EV comes along with an unwritten requirement to become an EVangelist educating all these onlookers that the water is fine so please jump in and join the fun.

  2. #2 by Susanna on September 16, 2010 - 2:43 pm

    gawd I can’t wait to get my Empulse! It takes a LOT (and a LOT MORE than a Rossi replica helmet) to stop New Yorkers in their tracks. The Enertia is a show-stopper, proven by the fact that so many New Yorkers (or tourists, given the neighborhood) stopped to check it out. I am sure 1,000 more were too cool to say anything and maybe 1 or 2 noticed the helmet. It’s a design thing, Harry. Design rules all in the Big Apple, especially in Soho.

  3. #3 by mtajudy on September 16, 2010 - 8:35 pm

    I have to tell ya, even in little ol’ Oregon, my bike is such a show stopper that I have to give myself extra time to get any place. I bought mine long enough ago that I didnt get the heads up. It took me two trips out of the garage to know that I was an enigma to all around me.
    I have been chased down, had my dinner interrupted, had notes left, and friends questioned but, the best is that the other cars on the road can question you at lights and actually be heard. I think I may have seen it all however, nothing surprises me anymore!!
    Wait till I get the new paint and hit the road. I am going to shake the place up!! Should be here next month, if all goes well.
    Bottom line, I love my Enertia and dont mind being questioned most of the time. Its when I draw a crowd of ten or so that I start to get worried that I may never get home. 😉 You know what I mean, Harry.

  4. #4 by Alan Wilzig on September 18, 2010 - 10:04 am

    I went to Yom Kippur services last night. Our community group doesn’t have an actual synagogue so CitiBank was nice enough to lend us an auditorium in their Tribeca office tower. It’s like a big seminar room with fold down mini desks and seats that snap closed when you stand up. First time everyone is asked to rise you hear CLACK CLACK CLACK as 300 seat bottoms snap back to vertical. After the FIFTH time it happened I started to wonder if those “really smart Jew” genes had been diluted int he global gene pool since the days of eisntein and Freud and Nietzsche and , well , all those other smart Jews. Damn. Or perhaps it was just physical coordination , which might explain the modest amount of Jewish sports superstars. About to rise……reach back as you stand……control the rate of chair bottom return speed…..

    JESUS !
    ( well you know what I mean )

    No Rossi helmet – With 28 yrs on 2 wheels , and at slow urban speeds – plain white ( visibility) AGV “Jet Style” scooter helmet. Basically just like yours but from the post -mezozoic era. Wearing a full face helmet on an Enertia ( that helmet is one of my all-time faves btw. It’s so nice I bought it thrice. One for NYC office credenza , one for Spain riding , one on the “Wall Of Rossi” in the moto museum kitchen. His special “Valencia” lid from 4 years ago.) -wearing a full face is almost RUDE. It says “I know you want to ask me about this sleek silent beauty I’m astride ; but all I’m giving you is MMM MMMPH MMMRR. I may wear it to services today though just to dull the sound of the seat-back-snaps. OY. Susanna is right on the mark. Some were clearly designers. Others , just young Japanese guys with very fancy Yohji Yamamoto Adidas sneakers ( Y3) – so that pretty much nails the “fashion and design” afficionado to the T.

    • #5 by Brammofan on September 20, 2010 - 2:47 pm

      I am considering one of the flip-up a/k/a modular helmets, for the reason you indicate: I want to be able to respond to the many people at traffic lights, etc. I also like my chin. I don’t want to explain to my plastic surgeon as he constructs a new chin for me out of plastic that I chose an open face helmet just so I could continue my Brammo evangelizing. Now, I’m just trying to find an affordable one that also has metal (rather than plastic) catches on the closure mechanism. I’m thinking the Vemar Jiano or Shark Evoline, but haven’t decided yet.

  5. #6 by eric on September 21, 2010 - 5:24 pm

    Brammofan:

    You might want to check out the Shoei Multitec Modular. I’m a longtime shoei user; their stuff’s really nice.

    I buy stuff from newenough.com; they’ve got a nice video on this helmet:

    http://www.newenough.com/street/helmets_and_eyewear/closed_face_flip_up_chin/shoei/multitec_modular_solid_motorcycle_helmet.html

    Really fun post, by the way; keep up the good work!

    • #7 by brammofan on September 22, 2010 - 12:52 pm

      I like that Shoei, but couldn’t afford it…yet. I just ordered the AGV Miglia Modular. Full review coming soon. Thanks for the advice, though — I like that site. And thanks for the compliment, too.

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