Alan Wilzig, our favorite rich dude who’s too cool to hate, just sent another one of his priceless emails that begs to be shared with us proletariat masses:
Subject: Brammos prevent simple conversation
Sure – when astride one, you can talk to anyone you like.
But sitting on a sidewalk bench in SOHO , trying to talk to your friend when the Brammo parked next to you is quite obviously yours, given the helmet and such on the bench ?
45 people photographed the bike in 100 minutes.
12 insisted on chatting about it.
60 made favorable comments and / or asked a confirmatory question.
If I had a hot dog cart with a DMV terminal and a credit card machine I could have sold 35 bikes this afternoon.
Whomever has the NYC franchise for these things has to be required / supplemented – to have 5 people ( half girls) riding them all day for $10/hr handing out cards until they have sold 100 and it’s no longer necessary.
I’ve told you similar anecdotes in the past – but today was just f@$%ing ridiculous !
I’ve also experienced the “Brammo Butt-in” – the name for the phenomenon of people interrupting your Enertia-nirvana in order to ask questions about your unique mode of transport. One of my favorite things to do is to talk about it, so it’s always a welcome interruption to me. But Alan’s numbers seem . . . problematic to me.
Because he’s like mishpocha to me, and because he made his money in the banking industry (supposedly due to his aptitude with numbers, not because his dear father – may he rest in peace – handed him a job on silver platter), I have to ask:
Alan, how, pray tell, can the NYC franchise have 5 people, half of whom are girls, riding the Enertias all day? Two boys, two girls, I get, but does the 5th one have to be a hermaphrodite? Or is this your way of telling the Ashland crew that the Enertia needs a wider and more forgiving seat?
And this helmet that sat next to you on the park bench in Soho for 100 minutes, was it the one you were wearing in this picture of you at Jerez?:
Alan, bubelah, we have to get a closer look at the helmet:
Yes, that helmet. Was that the one on the bench? Because if it was, it might explain at least some of the attention you were receiving that day. It’s a conversation piece with a chinstrap. Even when it’s sitting next to you on a bench and not smushing your face, it screams “look at me!” That is the kind of helmet a guy like me could only dream of owning. And just to prove my point, here’s a picture of my boring and DOT approved (circa 1990) helmet:
But enough about me. Let’s talk about some of Alan’s other exploits.
Alan and his lovely wife, Karin, will be appearing in a new reality television series called “Robinhood Rally“. Their team, Team Wilzig, can be found on Facebook. Make sure to visit and “Like” them. Alan’s a big Subaru fan –
and he loves driving his Ariel Atom, assembled a few years ago by a then-little-known-company in Ashland, Oregon known as Brammo Motorsports:
He’s also, quite obviously, a fan of the color orange.
One last thing –
Alan walks into his Rabbi’s office and says, “Rabbi. I want to have a mezuzah for my Lamborghini.”
The Rabbi looks puzzled and says, “What’s a Lamborghini?”
Alan: It’s an Italian sports car.
Rabbi: I can’t condone that. Go see a Rabbi over at the Conservative temple.
So Alan goes to the Conservative synagogue and asks the rabbi:
Alan: I want to have a mezuzah for my Lamborghini.
Rabbi 2: What’s a Lamborghini?
Alan: It’s an Italian sports car.
Rabbi 2: I can’t condone that. Go see a Rabbi over at the Reform temple.
So Alan goes to the reform temple and asks the rabbi:
Alan: I want to have a mezuzah for my Lamborghini
Rabbi 3: What’s a mezuzah?
So, with that, I’ll leave the comments open for Mr. W to provide some answers about numbers, helmets, and when we get to see him on tv in our neck of the woods.