The Horror! The Horror!
(See update, below)
Say what? No no no no. This is not how the story ends. (If you don’t know how the story has proceeded to this point, do the research, visit the site, because this post is not about how we got here, but rather, where we go. )
There’s even a movie of the atrocity:
But seriously, chained to a post? This isn’t what is supposed to happen in the last scene of a movie that, up to now, has been filled with highs and lows and humor and poignancy. Our faithful steed who has been taking us through rain and fields and back roads and parking lots, left on its own, to face some untold danger? Let’s face it, the untold danger is either going to be a city employee or a thief with a pair of bolt cutters. The bike will be unceremoniously hefted into the back of a vehicle, hauled away, and lost forever.
This is just like the time Roy Rogers left Trigger tied to the rail in front of the saloon while he went inside, got drunk, and ended up with a floozy upstairs, while Dale Evans pined away at home. Then, the sheriff saw Trigger, unattended, and hauled the poor rejected animal off to the glue factory. Remember?
Or that time right after Timmy got rescued from the well thanks to Lassie’s quick thinking, and then Timmy and his dad drove out into the middle of the desert and left Lassie to fend for herself among the cacti and snakes. Ring a bell?
Okay, for you GenXers: Remember that time when Spongebob was lost and his pet snail, Gary, found him? And then Spongebob followed Gary all the way back to the Crusty Crab? Yes! And then they put Gary in a pot of boiling water and had escargot for dinner?
No? None of those scenarios ever happened? But you heard Brian Wismann say: “It’s not the fairy tale ending that we had hoped for, but it’s a real ending.”
Brammofan’s BullSchiff Detector is blinking. This is not the end, can’t be the end, because of two very simple facts:
1. Brian Wismann designed the Enertia and would never leave his “baby” chained to a post in the middle of Washington D.C. (I’m also pretty sure that Dave Schiff wouldn’t do this to a bike that had carried him 700 miles, because, well, he still works for Alex Bogusky and Bogusky wouldn’t put up with a heartless creep… right?)
2. Everyone associated with this project is smart. They all know that leaving the bike there is to leave it in peril and that, not only will it never shock Barack, it will never be seen again.
I predict that this was a diversion. A “geeze…I’m tired and…oh crap…we gotta get to the airport…hey… I got a funny idea…” type of decision. Maybe not the best decision to make when you’re road weary and homesick, but I’m willing to cut them some slack.
I predict that “Enertia – Unchained” is just around the corner. While I don’t require that the bike end up in Mr. Obama’s hands, I do demand my Fairy Tale ending.
From the ElMoto.Net forum, comes this message, posted by Brian Wismann:
Thanks for keeping up with the journey and I appreciate ALL the comments on the “conclusion”. The intent of chaining the bike up was to state emphatically that we’re not giving up. We may not be in DC right now, but the bikes surely are. Also, that is the real letter with the real keys and it did really get mailed by yours truly. Don’t worry, though, the bike will not end up as someone’s trash to clean up. Surely, you’d have a little more faith in us than that?! Keep checking back as we’re working dilligently on a conclusion that would leave us all with a little less bitter taste in our mouths…
Maybe we could’ve passed as Trick-or-treaters?…
Never doubted for a minute. The faithful steeds are safely stowed. Of course they are. Now, we’ll just have to be patient.