Today’s Non-newsworthy News

Why, you must be asking, would I want to read news that is not newsworthy?  Two reasons:

1. Because you’re the type of person who wants to know what to ignore.  With so much information coming your way from so many sources, don’t you want to know what NOT to pay attention to?

2. Because it’s written in Brammofan’s trademark snarky-annoying-cynical style.

Today’s  non-newsworthy item is this stunner, posted on twitter today at about 12:45pm, Central:


Don’t bother loading up the link, it just goes to her blog with the exact same “news.”  While this declaration may indeed be true, it’s just not newsworthy.  If she has some inside information, which is certainly possible (and perhaps probable), then the “news” angle is actually, “Brammo July Launch Hopes Sputter.”  (I feel Professor Bremner smiling at me from heaven.)  The news is that the oft-reported (and oft-repeated) claims that the Brammo Enertia was to go on sale at the Best Buy store in Portland, Oregon at some point in July 2009, are no longer true.  Why take a lede and turn it into a vague future semi-promise that may turn out to be yet another disappointment?

I’m going to cut Ms. Vernarsky some slack, however, because I think the answer to that question points out the difference between advertising and news.  I’m making the assumption that she has heard that July is a no-go for the Enertia debut this month and she had to be true to her advertising-roots and take that frustrating news and put a positive spin on it.  Maybe she’s heard something more definite than that, but one thing us Brammo fans have learned as this marriage between Brammo and Best Buy unfolds is that we should not count our Enertias before they’ve hatched.  Even when you hear it from the CEO.  Anyone remember this:

Sullivan: We’ve heard a lot about the dream of the electric car that keeps getting pushed off.  Any chance that July 5 [the date the Enertia shows up for sale at the Portland, Oregon Best Buy] is going to be pushed back, or are you guys locked in?

Bramscher: We are locked in.  We are ready to go.  It’s taken about a year and a half to bring it into production.

That declaration occurred on June 8, 2009, less than two months ago, when Bramscher appeared on Fox Business News.  Ah, the giddy days of early June when half of the Brammo crew was in New York City plugging our favorite plug-in, and the other half was at the Isle of Man TTXGP race, preparing to make history.  We were younger then, with stars in our eyes and dreams that no mere mortal could crush.

And then along came some prodigious monster with a blue shirt and a yellow nametag and it swooped up our prized Enertia and promised to give it back to us on July 5.  That day came and went without a peek at our prize (although countless “news” sources claimed it went on sale that day) and the promise changed into “some time later this month.” Now, it appears that the month will end Enertia-less.

I want to believe Ms. Vernarsky.  I want to believe that sometime during August, a “subliminal green” Enertia will be wheeled onto the showroom floor of the Cascade Station Best Buy and some helpful sales associate with a yellow name tag that says “Chris” will be the guy that sells the first Enertia to the first customer.  Precognition, however, is not one of Brammofan’s powers.  Thus, I will reluctantly retreat to the comfort of the skepticism that forms a part of my state’s motto: August launch? Show me.


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