CycleWorld Guys Give the Brammo Enertia a Hard Time

It’s always a tough sell when you have a Brammo Enertia electric motorcycle on one side of the field, and a herd of die hard ICE motorcyclists on the other.

42 mile range?  60+ miles an hour?  4 hours to recharge?  I’m already getting great gas mileage; why would I need to show my “green” side?

It’s the usual back-and-forth, and I’m not going to bore you with the arguments here.  I’m going to entertain you with one biker’s vision of a design upgrade for an Enertia:

Sweet looking modification, if you ask me.  This guy might give my usual photoshopper a run for his money.  Reportedly, he’s working on a “hamster in a wheel” mod, as well.

Brammofan’s Predictions for 2010

I have to join the teeming masses who are making predictions for their little corner of the world.  I tried to resist, but when I was listening to the EVCast’s recent show where they ran down their 2009 predictions, it just fed my “I-told-you-so” gland, deep within my hypothalamus.  So here goes:

1.  Brammo will branch out to Europe and Asia with the Enertia.  Okay, so this is my “safe” prediction.  If you’ve been following the Brammo story, you know that CEO Craig Bramscher has been jetting around these continents for the last six months.  He didn’t miss his Thanksgiving Dinner for nothing.  (Seriously — have you seen him?  Nothing short of world domination would tempt him away from turkey, taters, and pumpkin pie.)  Considering he was in China on November 26, he probably ended up eating something that looked like this:

Arachnid. It's what's for dinner.

2.  Brammo will introduce the anti-scooter but it will turn out to look nothing like the obscenity photo-shopped by the demented minds over at Asphalt and Rubber.

Frankenscooter

Instead, it will look something like a cross between what one would expect to see underneath a sorority girl at U.S.C, a rainbow, and butter.

3.  Brammo will decide, at the last possible minute, to race in at least one of the TTXGP eGrandPrix races.

Brammo has been strangely silent about participating in the soap opera/reality show that has been unfolding between TTXGP and FIM.  Is the silence due to lack of sponsorship? Maybe, but I’m more inclined to say that they are focusing like a laser beam on the rollout of the Enertia to more Best Buy stores and, as noted in #1, above, world domination.  Best Buy may not end up swooping down and sponsoring the Brammo race team, as they did last year, but I predict some dark horse anonymous source will decide that Brammo needs a racing pedigree to offset the metro-sexual vibe of the Enertia, and validate the integrity of his testosterone levels.

4.  Brammo will ditch the baby blue panels — excuse me, “Glacial Blue” panels.

Also known as "drowning polar bear blue"

Instead, Brammo will offer an array of new colors for 2010, including: Hot Planet Pink, Global-Warming-Denier Red, Running out of time to save the world Blue (a dark, sparkly blue), and OMFG We’re All Gonna Die Unless You Buy This Bike and Stop Polluting Purple.

5.  Brammo will continue crowd-sourcing.  Remember those heady days of September 2009 when Brammo and Crispin, Porter + Bogusky came up with the idea to crowd source the logo? Despite the negative attention it received (which, ironically, only served to give it more attention, thus proving that “any attention = good attention” is still a valid equation), Brammo will decide to turn to the crowd to handle even more of its crucial decisions.  Stay tuned during the first quarter of 2010 for the “Crowd Source a new battery” contest, where the winner will provide a new form of energy storage that is able to be recharged in 15 minutes, increases the range of the bike to 300 miles, weighs 1/10 of the weight of the current battery pack, and is made of a readily-available substance, such as mud and dandelions.

6.  Brammo will bid for new batch of interns on Ebay, but will be outbid in the last few seconds by Zero Motorcycles.  After months of working, the interns will produce a video that will go viral.  Instead of hip-hop or rap, it will be a video of Zero’s Neal Saiki under the influence of nitrous oxide and novacaine following his root canal.  His inability to pronounce the word “torque” during the video will amuse millions and lead to Zero’s licensing of the “Dorque™” ringtone, providing the company the operating capital it needs to roll out its bikes to hundreds of CVS Pharmacies, nationwide.  ”After all, an electric motorcycle is kind of like an antidepressant on wheels. No prescription necessary.”

7. Best Buy will decide to equip its Geek Squad with a fleet of Brammo Enertias, painted in their characteristic white and black configuration, which will, in turn, catch the eyes and attention of Police Squads nationwide, causing fleet sales to skyrocket.  Other crime-fighting entities will follow suit:

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

8.  Brammo will team up with a manufacturer of solar panels and will market the Enertia Garage, an accessory that provides dry parking, a renewable energy source for recharging, and a place for the owners to hang out and smoke cigars.

That’s a wrap for 2009.  We’ll revisit the predictions in late 2010, when they will be viewable by our corneal implants as we tool around on our flying Enertias.

Have a Happy New Year and stay safe out there.

Spy Photo Reveals President on Custom-made Brammo Enertia

Is ShockingBarack Too Late?

Maybe our two silent riders are taking too much time as they travel from Detroit to D.C. to “present the President with the most energy efficient vehicle.”

Brammo CEO Craig Bramscher traveled to Washington D.C. this morning, ostensibly to meet with “supportive legislators.” According to this photo, however, it looks like he was personally delivering President Obama his custom-made, Red, White, and Blue ObamaNertia.

U.S. President Barack Obama exits the Oval Office

Although the President could not be reached for a comment, Michelle Obama’s press secretary said that the First Lady does not approve of him not wearing a helmet, but “if he’s got to have his midlife crisis, at least he’s being environmentally responsible about it.”  She did add that the First Lady was “a bit disappointed that the bike was not delivered by BrammoJosh.”

* * * *

(Thanks to my friend Tim Wells of Faulkner Strategies for his creativity and responsiveness to my requests for images; and to my other friend, motoguru John Adamo, a/k/a @skadamo, for the word I wished I’d invented: ObamaNertia).

Brammo’s Upcoming European Tour

Brammo CEO Craig Bramscher announced on Twitter yesterday that the bike is going on a European tour:

Always a fan of crowdsourcing, Bramscher’s appeal to “ask them” has drawn a modest number of requests from Germany, England, Portugal and Norway, but nothing close to 700 responses. (When will that logo winner get announced?)

Brammofan’s request for the first stop on the tour?  London, of course.

BRAMMO’S BRITISH INVASION!

Changing the world, two bloody wheels at time. Now, how 'bout a pint?

Credit and thanks to the the visionary skills of Tim Wells at Faulkner Strategies for his creative work and quick turnaround time!

Mid-week Brammo Picture Dump

Some interesting photos coming in this week and last weekend, that merit attention:

In the “photoshopped Enertia Design” category comes this beauty, from Don:

I hereby dub the, “Enertia from the Black Lagoon”

From the Brammovan‘s trek from Aspen to Ashland:

Both of those appear to have been taken on the Bonneville Salt Flats, but no confirmation on that possibility from Brammo.

Over the weekend, @brammodesigner posted this:

What do you call such a gathering?  Herd? Gaggle? Gang? A “Charge of Enertias” is my nomination.

And, just last night, this curious pic from @brammodesigner:

Yes folks, that is a picture of the first “Graphite” colored Enertia.  Check out those knobbies! (thanks, @skadamo).  Looks like someone is planning to play some off-road games.

Finally, in the interest of showing what other electric motorcycle manufacturers are up to, I feel compelled to show these pictures, which were posted yesterday by the Mission Motors folks from their photoshoot, by Douglas Sonders:

It’s in front of a transformer.  Just in case you missed that, there is a sign that says, “High Voltage.”  Get it?

Anyway, she’s lovely.  I like the very sleek lines.  She definitely has a real “let’s get down to the business of moving from Point A to Point B” kind of look.

Oh, and the bike is nice, too.  That bike, the “Mission One,” can be yours today, or rather, can be reserved for $5000 and will be yours upon production for the total price of $68,995.  Or, you could go to your local Best Buy (if you lived in Portland, Oregon) sometime later this month (please?) and buy five Enertias, and still have about $8,000 left over for your electric bill, or some good looking clothing for your urban commute.

By the way, Sonders, the photographer, wanted folks to vote for his dog as the cutest dog in some contest… Okay… so Winston is pretty cute.  However, I still think that Luna, the youngest of my three Boxers, is the cutest.  You be the judge:

She was very tired after trekking through Devil’s Den State Park in Arkansas.  And that concludes our mid-week photo dump.